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The New Light And Air Diet Isn’t For Anyone

Breatharian’s are lucky, or unlucky…depending on how you look at it…because a Breatharian doesn’t eat. They exist solely on light and air and nothing else.

This makes taking one out to dinner a really, really, cheap date.

I’ll have the steak, medium rare and a loaded baked potato. My date here just lives on light and air so could you bring over a table lamp to shine on her….um, maybe like a 40 watt bulb in that please. It’s our first date and I want to make a good impression. Also for dessert she will have an oscillating fan, three speed settings.

So how does one do this, you ask? Well after visiting the web site; Jasmuheen.com  which is the authority on the practice…we still don’t quite know. Apparently it involves some mediation, some unlocking of the brain we humans never use, and listening to the collective works of Yanni.

yanni

Why does every new age related idea always use some part of the brain we humans never use? Is that a rule? And just how much of our brain do we not use? I’m thinking we could all have much, much smaller heads according to most religions and spiritual gurus.

This would make hats cheaper I’m sure.

Breatharianism has recently come to the fore front of the public eye as Ukraine model, Valeria Lukyanova, who considers herself a real life Barbie doll has publicly stated that her goal is to live on air and light alone, which is much different than my goal of living on nothing but Pizza Rolls and Diet Shasta.

barbie

The practice is not without it’s risks as several people have died from it.

To which we say,

Duh!

Last year a lady in Seattle tried the extreme diet which was suppose to last for 100 days. She gave up after 47  when she reported that the Universe told her to;

Knock that shit off, and go get a double bacon cheeseburger.

Most people are only familiar with the Ukraine  as being a country on the Risk game board, than producing hot models, so it’s about time they got some recognition.

risk

We are impressed with Valeria Lukyanova Barbie style modeling skills as well. Below is several different pictures showing her different looks and poses:

1) Sexy

val1

2) Happy

val2

3) Sad

val3

4) Gassy

val4

5) Relieved

 val5

Well…you get the idea. The Ukraine is cold, it’s hard to make different facial expressions.

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
One Of The Hosts Of Podcast 42. Online Producer for The Over The Line Show. Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

64 Comments on The New Light And Air Diet Isn’t For Anyone

  1. If you tried to rail her really good, you’d break her. LOL

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  2. “Well…you get the idea. The Ukraine is cold, it’s hard to make different facial expressions”

    Hahaha!

    But really. Being thin is fine with me but to live on air is not. I’m not exactly sure how long these people will survive after starting this “diet” (more like non-diet), but I guess most of them somewhere between 10 days and a month. Anyways, when they finally die, I’ll just say: natural selection is a bitch. 😉

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  3. Now I’m hungry for pizza rolls.

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  4. Wait, is that a human? Because that most definitely does not look like a human. Maybe some plant that was genetically engineered to look like a human? Plants live on air and light, so that would explain it.

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  5. Wow that is very freaky, I think I would be scared if i saw her walking down the street, gosh!

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  6. Somewhere there’s a ficus tree that’s always wanted to consume food that’s very taken aback by all of this.

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  7. That Barbie girl is the stuff of nightmares! I feel sad for her though, she clearly has many issues; wanting to live on light and air being only one of them. Me, I’ll have the medium rare steak and loaded baked potato – I’d rather be a full date than a cheap date 🙂

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  8. This sounds like my post-Afghanistan diet in a way. At least it seemed that way. As for whatsername, I’d be interested to know what’s left after she dies and the ‘natural’ parts decompose. Hmm.

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  9. Delusions of…no. Just deluded.
    How very sad.
    How very not sexy.

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  10. I could think of a few people who I’d recommend trying that “diet”. My husband’s ex-wife, my former sister-in-law, most of the people in prison – it would definitely cut the costs of housing inmates.

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  11. I never did play with barbie dolls when I was young. This is sort of creepy. I am going to have nightmares tonight. Thanks a lot.
    Now where’s my pizza?!

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  12. I tried detox for three days and that’s it for me! Hey, I did crave a cheeseburger, too. That Barbie is scary.

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  13. i am terrified of and for her. can i dip my air and light into chocolate? then i may be okay.

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  14. Wow scary and sad!

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  15. She looks like a Sims character . . . freaky. Even computer characters can’t live on air, though. Sheesh.

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  16. Do you reckon this is all just a promotional tactic by this Yanni guy.

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  17. I just read about this model and the breatharian diet — coincidence! And I was thinking about the diet this morning in my frustration to lose more weight — I wondered — “Hmmm…breatharianism.” Gee, could your post be a sign that the “Universe” is saying I should go on this diet? — Bahahahaha!

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  18. That’s a person? I mean a “person”? What?!

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  19. They must have a lot more light in the Ukraine than they do here. A person would starve to death on the light in Canada this year. We can give you the frozen expressions no problem but the light we would have a problem with. Am I the only one freaked out by those eyes? I want to look away but I can’t.

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  20. Please tell me this is a jape, jest, joke, parody… please….

    No one should have to listen to the collected works of Yanni…it would make breathing intolerable.

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  21. I guess if you’re into blow up dolls…

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  22. Sounds like the first thing you lose on the diet is your common sense. I wonder how much that weighs?

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