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The Bullet Points

The Bullet Points is a new segment where we make our resident life ranter, BrainRants comment on the headlines of the week. Think of it like poking a stick in a fire ant hill…

1) Blind man sinks 3-point shot at college basketball game

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Rants: It’s so great to know the visually impaired are now branching out of their referee positions and gaining wider acceptance in the world of sports

2) Kate Middleton Wears Kim Kardashian’s Red Dress

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Rants: The implied ‘so what’ here is that she didn’t look like a slut in it.

3) Former US congressman Melvin Jay Reynolds arrested in Zimbabwe for Porn

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Rants: For porn. Shows how bright you are taking porn along where it’s illegal when you could stay home with a tube of KY and download to your heart’s content.

4) Lady Gaga reportedly bitten by slow loris during video shoot

Rants: The calm-demeanor animal apparently didn’t react well when GaGa attempted to use it as a diaphragm. In case you didn’t know.

5) Divers tussle with 8-foot-long octopus

Rants: As if anyone would remain calm if they found scuba divers in their house. Seriously?

6) Paris Hilton Goes Commando to Pre-Grammy Party

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Rants: Wake me up when she makes headlines by NOT going commando.

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About BrainRants (31 Articles)
A former career Soldier and hired gun, BrainRants has been angry everywhere. Known for his bubbly personality and ill-formed thoughts, he's elevated swearing to an art form. Famous for being as blunt as a 2x4 straight to the teeth. Bacon lover, beer expert and inventor of new words. Occasionally pens Sci Fi and Military Thrillers.

53 Comments on The Bullet Points

  1. All the answers were good ones, but I especially like the Kate vs. Kardashian. The only difference between the Kardashian’s and Vanna White is that Vanna turns letters, not men.

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  2. Well, maybe that’s not the only difference. Kate has style and a figure going for her, too.

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  3. Sweet. A place for news that doesn’t involve someone who beats up his neighbor and then goes on tv, and says I hope they catch the guy…aka..”me”…(well him).

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  4. Oh Em Gee.

    That cuddly thing was the cutest thing EVER.

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  5. These headlines remind me of a segment on the old Carlos Mencia show…Why The Fuck Is This News? Seriously, who gives a shit about any of this?

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  6. When did Paris Hilton start looking like Miley Cyrus? Was it before or after Justin Bieber? Where have I been? Or more importantly: how do I get back there?

    (And Rants: I think one of those refs was at my son’s game last night…)

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  7. Ummm….interesting.

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  8. Spot on with #s 5 & 6. I thought the octo was tryina eat the camera. Maybe she could eat Paris?

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  9. kim, octopus, paris (one of these uses its brain to the highest level)

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  10. Sorry but Kate’s dress is different then Kim’s. Just because it’s similar and red does not make it the same dress. Kate’s has a much more tailored look as well as arms. Hrmph!

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  11. I want a slow loris. What is that? NOT to be used as diaphragm, of course, although he does have that shape. Too funny.

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  12. I hate to say it but Brainrants is brilliant! I think every response was spot on. Nailed it!

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  13. #4 is my fave! and why is Paris going to any awards show? What does she do other than go commando?

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