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The Saturday Six: Dear…Sincerely

saturday 6

Before the internet, the age of stationery ruled.

*Cue nerd in a Game of Thrones costume: “AND it was a GLORIOUS age!”*

What is stationery you ask?

Well, in the olden days (we’re talking like, sometime between when Jesus walked the Earth and 1983) most people relied on Number 2 pencils and neatly cut squares of paper called stationary to communicate with each other. Stationery would come in many sizes and colors. You could have stationary accessories like pens, pencils, ribbons, stamps, pencil holders, paper clips, erasers, stickers, scratch-n-sniff stickers, gold foiled stickers…um…anyway, you get the idea.

(Stickers rule!)

You would jot down or type your thoughts, ideas, concerns, desires, or pornographic doodles on these archaic forms of media, then seal them in envelopes and pay someone 35 cents to truck them across the country to their destinations.

It was polite to open your letter with the word, “Dear” so-and-so. Then you would end it with, “Sincerely” (your name).

Nowadays we fire up the computer or smart phone and open our thoughts with the word, “Yo” or “Bitch”, and with the words, “Later” or “Shut up” or even the sexy favorite, “;)”.

On that note, let’s take a step back to a simpler time as the Saturday Six presents, Dear…Sincerely:

1.  Stop Shouting, People

dear1

It’s such a small world.

2.  Revenge of the Nerd

dear2

I got stuck in traffic again and I think I’m getting sick.

3.  2000 Years of Withholding the Truth

dear3

Wait a second, explain it again.

4.  Volatile Relationship

dear4

They’re always at odds with each other…

5.  Missed the Bus

dear5

And the Cincinnati Bengals too.

6. Dirty Silverware

dear6

And your teeth too…

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
Producer for: https://overthelineshow.wordpress.com. Voice over actor, podcaster, writer on various web sites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

65 Comments on The Saturday Six: Dear…Sincerely

  1. NotAPunkRocker // February 15, 2014 at 8:07 am //

    All great, but the last one is perfect!

    Like

  2. So that’s what happens in the silverware drawer while we are all sleeping.

    Pen and paper still rule.

    Like

  3. As a dinosaur throwback to the time of stationery and iron thrones, I find I cannot do two things digitally: copyedit anything (proofread) or take notes. I better go have my daily fiber…

    Like

  4. I used to love stationary. Writing letters was a form of communication I miss dearly. I still have some of my old stationary, I’m hoping someday soon I’ll be asked to donate it to a museum.
    Loved the one about the spork…

    Like

  5. Oh, Unicorns.

    Dear Freshly Pressed,
    Chrisotpher De Voss wrote a groovy post about stationery.
    You should check it out.
    Signed,
    FKA Hippie Cahier

    Like

  6. That spoon, what a tart! Love these.

    Like

  7. Dear yo,

    Freak like a bitch yeah. This made me laugh, especially, for some reason, the one about the high school girls – I think you have just uncovered a latent mental scar in my persona. Fantastic, man. Hope everyone reads this.

    Trent

    Like

  8. and i love letters, and i really love these letters )

    Like

  9. Fran Macilvey // February 15, 2014 at 12:26 pm //

    Stationary = standing still. (‘She was stationary, waiting for her train’)
    Stationery = paper and envelopes.
    I think that’s right.
    XXX :-))

    Like

  10. #4 with the unicorns is my favorite. I remember stationery. . . . sigh

    Like

  11. anitadesignstudio // February 15, 2014 at 3:16 pm //

    Mr C! You have transported me back to my childhood, ahhhh, scratch n sniff stickers!! Oh, how I loved those! Great post!

    Like

  12. I don’t know. I hear the word “stationary” and automatically add the word “bike.”
    Which is weird as there’s more chance of me handwriting a letter than getting my butt on a bike.
    Excellent post.

    Like

  13. These are hilarious!
    So that’s why there aren’t any unicorns. They should have written the time down on stationary.

    Like

  14. This would be a wonderful regular feature. I love it.

    Like

  15. Reblogged this on The Nudge Wink Report and commented:
    Due to the unexpected absence of today’s designated batter, management of The Nudge Wink Report brings you “The Saturday Six: Dear…Sincerely” posted over at Long Awkward Pause. It’s sincerely funny. Sincerely, NWR Management.

    Like

  16. I suspected as much for the reason we don’t have any real unicorns.
    Oh how I long for the customs of the last century ~sigh~

    Like

  17. Ha! John Jacob Jinglkkherim;…… that’s a long name. That would have taken forever to carve into a cave wall. They complained my name was too long.

    Like

  18. Snoring Dog Studio // February 16, 2014 at 10:27 am //

    Love them all! My mom gave me some stationery for Valentine’s Day. At first I didn’t even know what they were. Now I have to figure out how to use them.

    Like

  19. itsbridgetbaby // February 16, 2014 at 11:16 am //

    the Dear Mary one left me smiling like a retard, brilliant post 🙂

    Like

  20. carlitamay // February 16, 2014 at 5:37 pm //

    Haha loved this! I still keep old letters from pen pals so I can reminiscence about the time we only had stationary 😉

    Like

  21. Dear Freshly Pressed Gods,

    I agree with Hippie.

    Signed,
    Me

    Like

  22. Is that type on paper I see? Wow, it’s been so long. It looks so crisp! So funny.

    Like

  23. Hahahahahahahaha!

    Like

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