Before the internet, the age of stationery ruled.
*Cue nerd in a Game of Thrones costume: “AND it was a GLORIOUS age!”*
What is stationery you ask?
Well, in the olden days (we’re talking like, sometime between when Jesus walked the Earth and 1983) most people relied on Number 2 pencils and neatly cut squares of paper called stationary to communicate with each other. Stationery would come in many sizes and colors. You could have stationary accessories like pens, pencils, ribbons, stamps, pencil holders, paper clips, erasers, stickers, scratch-n-sniff stickers, gold foiled stickers…um…anyway, you get the idea.
You would jot down or type your thoughts, ideas, concerns, desires, or pornographic doodles on these archaic forms of media, then seal them in envelopes and pay someone 35 cents to truck them across the country to their destinations.
It was polite to open your letter with the word, “Dear” so-and-so. Then you would end it with, “Sincerely” (your name).
Nowadays we fire up the computer or smart phone and open our thoughts with the word, “Yo” or “Bitch”, and with the words, “Later” or “Shut up” or even the sexy favorite, “;)”.
On that note, let’s take a step back to a simpler time as the Saturday Six presents, Dear…Sincerely:
1. Stop Shouting, People
It’s such a small world.
2. Revenge of the Nerd
I got stuck in traffic again and I think I’m getting sick.
3. 2000 Years of Withholding the Truth
Wait a second, explain it again.
4. Volatile Relationship
They’re always at odds with each other…
5. Missed the Bus
And the Cincinnati Bengals too.
6. Dirty Silverware
And your teeth too…
MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:
Facebook: Long Awkward Pause
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