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Fun with Acrostics

Today I will do the unthinkable and solve two problems in one go, both with the use of poetry. Well, acrostic poetry, anyway, which I don’t think counts as poetry but we’ll let it slide like hot butter down a camel’s back (Ooh! Poetic!)

First, let’s look at the strife of the humble depressed person. This person is sad, like, all the time, and often feels very lonesome and is fed up with the whole life process. So, I recommend the following cheer-up formula (and I am a monk so you know you can trust it.)

Hurry up and
Eat
A
Lot of
Toppings on your ice-cream and
Hot sauce

The ice-cream and sprinkles, etc, will really turn up the happy-o-meter, while the hot sauce is designed to spice you up.
But what, I hear you say, about those that indulge too much in this procedure of poetry? What if they engorge their tummies with many a chocolate and many a crumbled cookie bit?

I give you the answer to obesity!

Oh!
But you are
Extremely
So fat
Exercise you chimp!!!

And now we have come full circle. You are now healed from both depression and obesity, my friends. Whether one, the other or both – YOU ARE FREE! ALL HAIL MONK MONKEY WHO HEALED YOU FROM YOUR AFFLICTIONS AND HANG-UPS! SEND HIM MONEY!

A
Monk doesn’t make
Enough money to buy
Nary a banana so send him some today!

(Money, not bananas. I’ll buy my own bananas. With the money you send me. If there’s any left over I might get a car or some nice new stationary.)

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22 Comments on Fun with Acrostics

  1. I will eat a banana in your honor and send money to Africa.

    Like

  2. Be funny
    On Monday
    Like any
    Good blogger would. πŸ™‚

    Fun post!

    Like

  3. i love these!

    Like

  4. I don’t poetry, but bananas go awesome with bacon.

    Like

  5. So very lyrical. Hey, hey you’re a monkey. Are you Davy Jones in blog-guise?

    Like

  6. The wisest of all the monkeys.

    Like

  7. H ello, Monk Monkey.
    A nother wonderful
    P ost where you help
    P eople find their way through hard times, while
    Y ou continue to ask us for money.

    Check is in the mail.

    Like

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