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Captcha-Cracking for Dummies

The topic of Internet Security is hotter than a pancake these days.  Hacker outbreaks are occurring now on almost a weekly basis, and every time it happens, everybody scrambles around changing all of their personal passwords from ‘password’ to ‘123456’.  Smooth move.

Unfortunately, many online hosting sites feel very differently about Internet Security, and after determining that having an Alligator tied to every computer in the world wasn’t a very cost-effective solution, the Captcha was born shortly after on this day in history.  It now serves and protects the honest citizens of the world from malicious computer-using robots…

Every time I try to open up a Gmail account I feel like I’m in a fucking Dan Brown novel, while I’m staring at some mangled ball of punctuation marks and Greek letters.  Half of the characters in these things aren’t even on my keyboard?

Thankfully, I have a friend who may or may not work for the FBI that I hired to assist me in the opening of my Gmail account.  Please don’t let that get out.  I don’t want to end up getting locked in some quadrant of Area 51 because of my big mouth.  But anyways, he and a few of his cryptology apprentices worked on it for about an hour and half until the code was finally cracked, and then I spent the rest of the day trying to remember who I was supposed to email.

In hindsight, I probably could have bought a carrier pigeon through Amazon in less time.  Mental note made.

Let’s try a few Captcha’s for fun:

Captcha Exercise #1 – Beginner

Sanford and Sons

If you guessed ‘Sanford and Sons’ – great job! You’re ready for the next challenge!

Captcha Exercise #2 – Intermediate

Captcha Challenge 2

This one was a little bit more difficult, but if you guessed “^Tetra Hyphen &ter” – great job!

Your code reading skills have reached FBI level!

Captcha Exercise #3 – Expert

Fort Knox Captcha

Did you get this one?  This is the captcha that they put on the front door access box at Fort Knox.

And also on the Gmail application page.

It’s a little hard because of the black lettering on top of the black background, but maybe try refreshing your page a few times.

Still didn’t get it?

Here’s the answer:

“Deport the man that invented this Captcha thingy!”

Adam Final Author Box

 

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Meh.

30 Comments on Captcha-Cracking for Dummies

  1. Not that any of this does any good, since the NSA already has our email on file.

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  2. I agree! I’ve seen simple captcha, but a lot of sites use the more complex ones that might as well be a black hole.

    For people who are blind or dyslexic, it is a veritable nightmare. I’ve been on sites that I finally had to give up on, or some where the 5th or 6th try went through (by sheer guesswork–like your Sanford and Son example). Every time, I write an email to customer service stating the problem. Once, I got an email back saying that I could “listen” to it. Problem is, they don’t play back the letters, but as if it were a word. You can imagine how much that “helps.”

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    • I’m neither blind nor dyslexic, but I may as well be when I’m trying to solve one. I am not good at them at all. I have never heard of the audio playback feature, but I can imagine the level of hilariousness that it might escalate to very quickly! I like De Voss’s comment haha

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  3. I like the ones that look like they almost spell real words, but quite don’t. Those are designed to drive you extra insane.

    delscious exanple

    porlable pogty

    lomg awkuard paise

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    • That is so funny! It’s like that test they do when they show you all the words that are color names, and the words are not the color that is spelled out. You know what I’m talking about? I usually flunk that test too!

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  4. Reblogged this on Chowderhead and commented:

    What do you do when the only thing standing between you and a Gmail account is Captcha? You fold. And then send a letter via snail mail…

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  5. I think we should be adding Captcha deciphering into school curriculums. Who needs Spanish these days???

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  6. I’m to the point where if someone wants to steal my identity that much they can have it. It’s just a matter of time before we all start reading books and newspapers and writing checks again because they’ll be “safer”.

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    • Multiple excellent points. You get an A+ today for your comments. I wrote a check about a week ago for the first time in a few years, and I honestly forgot how to do it. I voided two of them before I got it right.

      It seems there’s always something impeding progress…

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    • Oddly, the only people who can crack the captcha codes are hackers…

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  7. anitadesignstudio // December 13, 2013 at 9:02 pm //

    Funny, as always 😉

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  8. No kidding! I hate those things. There’s always a capital letter that looks lowercase, and the voice that sounds the words out is absurd, too. Where’s the petition for me to sign?

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    • Maddie, I’d love for you to sign the petition!

      …unfortunately, it’s captcha-protected. Just enter the correct captcha below and you’ll be redirected to the petition site. Good luck with that shit…

      Like

  9. My questions is…with all the keys available on a keyboard, why do I never see this:

    F&#K!NG C@PT(H@$

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  10. Gmail never did let me in – I couldn’t get the code and it swore it didn’t recognize my back-up email address or have any hint questions for me. I think that means I don’t exist.

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  11. I thought there are problems with my sight. Lol
    but I think a web developer should consider using easier captcha because kind of captcha as complicated as it is will make internet users too lazy to open that page

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