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Are you addicted to Caffine?

Dear America,

Land of the brave, the free. There is a new killer drug in your mist and it isn’t cocaine, heroin, advil or nickatine.

IT’S CAFFEIEN!!!

Yes, this killer addiction is stalking city streets and curbs as human after human carries around their paper cups filled to the BRIM with glorious Coffee which comes from CAFFEINE!

Do not taste of this vial LIQUID!

Millions are under its swoon and grasp. But don’t take it from me, take it from…

Ms Julia Desmond:

“I’m just not the same without my morning cup of coffee.”

Mr Howard G. Ruth:

“I once killed a man and a rabbit to get me some coffee.”

Jerry Capota:

“So fidgety right now!”

But DO NOT DESPARE! For I, the glorious Monk Monkey have begun a new series of videos in which I attempt to (and will) cure you all of addictions, misunderstandings, social indaequacies and fobias! I call it: “Self-help with Monk Monkey,” and the first episode is right here for your adoration and attention!

Watch it with a loved one today (a loved one addicted to caffine) and help them to see the ERROR of their ways and the GLORIES that await them on the other side of the non-addiction plateau we call THE REAL AMERICA or, DECAF-LAND!

Amen.

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47 Comments on Are you addicted to Caffine?

  1. I think I’d like to know more about the man and the rabbit story. Or not.

    Like

  2. It’s a long, twisted tale of a long, twisted man and his long, twisted rabbit. One day I may share the story, but I warn thee, it t’a’int one for the faint hearted.

    Like

  3. But then how do we wake up?

    Like

  4. A kick in the pants. Or electric shock. Or A FRIGGING ALARM CLOCK! Turn ye away from the temptation of the caffeine!!! Watch my video and be SAVED!

    Like

  5. Reblogged this on Monk Monkey and commented:

    On the other blog I offer up writings for I posted this self-help video for all of you who may be suffering from the addictions of the dreaded caffeine bean…

    Like

  6. Personally, I start my mornings with a glass of water, and I feel fabulous. Until 3 p.m. Then it’s time to bust out the hot chocolate.

    Like

  7. Love the video! E is for Evil!

    Like

  8. Hmm, very convincing words there, Monk Monkey. Still, since I’m drinking a cup of java right now, I don’t think I’ll stop any time soon. Nice vidoe (although I raise you this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTVE5iPMKLg)

    Like

  9. We are here to adore and pay attention. I’d stay longer but I need to go find me a latte.

    Like

  10. Does it look to you as if it’s not the right to bear arms, the right of free speech, or freedom of religion that will be the catalyst of change–but the loss of our right to ingest caffeine? The classic movie “Airplane” had it right all along. 🙂

    Like

  11. I have pretty much cut out soda, now you want my coffee too? I enjoy one cup in the morning! Get your paws off my cuppa!

    Like

  12. Leave it to a monkey to spell caffeine three different ways in the same piece.

    Like

  13. You might want to respell the C word in your title. Hope this helps.

    Like

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  18. You really make it seem so easy with your
    presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I
    would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broa for me.
    I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

    Like

    • I am gad you are looking forward to y next post as it will open your eyes and feed thee the knowledge required by all passed from me monkey to you Jane.

      Like

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