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Meet Howard Gantz, Manager

Hello, Howard Gantz, Manager here.

In case you don’t who I am, I’m the manager of Long Awkward Pause. A hard but rewarding job that I do with pride every single day, except Sundays. Sundays are mine. Anyway, we get a lot of emails here at L.A.P….

A lot….

And I thought while the guys are busy preparing for September’s posts, I would answer a couple emails that were sent in this week. Speaking of September, let me tease you with what’s in store. Instead of one topic, we divided the team into two groups with two different topics!

Exciting!

I can’t tell you what they are, but I can give you a little hint, a little tease, a little peek-a-boo. One topic deals with something that might make you jumpy and the other topic deals with something that just may make you grumpy. (Since you have seen it before.)

Ok, on to the emails:

Dear L.A.P,

What’s everyone’s writing process? Just curious. By the way my favorite is Justin.

Julie.Browning@hotmail.com

—–

Dear Juile,

Howard Gantz, Manager here. Everyone lives across the country and some in other parts of the world, so I don’t know what everyone’s writing process is, but I will tell you that we have a wonderful t-shirt that you can purchase especially since Christmas is just around the corner. Your Mom would look really good in it.

Thanks for reading.

Howard Gantz, Manager

—–

Dear Guys,

Do you ever except new writers to the team? If so, how do I apply?

roadrage12567@gmail.com

—–

Dear Roadrage12567,

Howard Gantz, Manager here. We currently are not hiring any new writers. However, we do need a new errand person. Your responsibilities would include fetching lunch, running to the bank, the copy store, and picking up our 100% free-range cotton t-shirts from the warehouse. These breathable shirts are durable, as well as fashionably perfect for any occasion. Check them out for yourself. I bet you’ll look good in one.

Thanks for reading.

Howard Gantz, Manager

——

Dear Long Awkward Pause People,

Not really a fan. I don’t think your funny. I have read every post and everyone’s individual blogs, and I don’t get it. I suggest everyone look for a new line of work, like McDonald’s french fry boy. You guys suck. Like major suck. After December, I’m dropping my subscription. Piss off.

SisterMary@church.net

—–

Dear SisterMary,

Howard Gantz, Manager here. I’m sorry you don’t enjoy the humor we provide. One thing you may enjoy is one of our L.A.P t-shirts that come in a variety of sizes. Get out of that habit and get two or three today…haha. No seriously SisterMary, this blog is damn funny. And also you can buy the t-shirt in a really big size and use it as a night gown.

Thanks for reading.

Howard Gantz, Manager

—–

Until next time. I’m Howard Gantz, Manager. See ya!

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About Christopher De Voss (132 Articles)
One Of The Hosts Of Podcast 42. Online Producer for The Over The Line Show. Voice over actor, writer on various websites, published author, should not eat cheese but still does. Follow me on twitter: @chrisdevoss

28 Comments on Meet Howard Gantz, Manager

  1. When does the line of celebrity blogger boxers come on sale?

    Like

  2. You guys are so wonderfully funny i love your write ups so hey I wont have to buy L.A.P t-shirts, how sad

    Like

  3. Howard makes this job so much more wonderful. Are we hiring that Roadrage guy that can’t spell? I need an assistant. Actual job title would be, “Bearer.”

    Like

  4. I have a sister called Mary – I hope it is not she who wrote that email!

    Like

  5. I appreciate the work Mr. Gantz has done for us, so far, but I’m wondering if he is taking 60% of everyone’s income or just mine. Everyone signed a 40-60 contract with Gantz, right? Guys? Christopher?

    Like

  6. It was really sweet of Sister Mary to check you out so thoroughly and to offer feedback. Bless her heart.

    Like

  7. Your subtlety is impressive. (I had to look up how to spell subtlety)

    Like

  8. It is Sisters like Mary who make my irrational fear of nuns appear rational.

    Like

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